“We honestly have no fucking idea what we’re doing”, a leading quantum physicist admits. According to Dr Amit Goswami, quantum physics is one big spoof — and always has been.
Followed by a short discourse by Lasha Darkmoon
on Quantum Physics, God and the After-Life
Theoretical Quantum Physicist Dr. Amit Goswami (pictured) admitted today that he, and his peers, have absolutely “no fucking idea” what they’re doing, and claims they were no nearer than prehistoric man to figuring out the Universe.
“We have been just winging it to tell you the truth,” explained the 78-year-old in an exclusive interview with WWN. “Seriously, I haven’t a clue what’s going on. Neither does anyone else in my field. We keep proving stuff that never actually happened”.
“Our cover is blown, what can I say? he added.
Dr. Goswami’s comments came after yet another alleged breakthrough in quantum mechanics which claims the universe has existed forever, as opposed to being created by a ‘big bang’.
“Over the years there have been just a handful of us pretending to know something about the universe that no one else does,” he went on. “But this is all lies to feed the charade. I’ve had some great times during the years, travelling the world and giving talks on our pretend finds”.
When asked how he got away with it for so long, he replied:
“I found out a long time ago that everything can be proven with a mathematical equation. Now, I mean everything; from unicorns, fire-breathing dragons, God and even the G-spot. None of it is true. Me and the handful that know the truth have been riding the Quantum Physicist celebrity wave for quite some time now, but it must end – before someone gets hurt”.
The University of Oregon professor warned that the European Organisation for Nuclear Research, known as CERN, could potentially wipe out the entire planet if the project is not put to a halt.
“Seriously, when myself, Higgs and Ben (Benjamin Lockspeiser, CERN’s first president) first pitched the idea, we never thought it would get funding. It was gonna cost billions for Christ’s sake,” he recalled. “Fuck knows what the thing does – no one does. Firing particles at each other at the speed of light can’t end well. I’m just worried now we took the joke too far”.
Ending the interview, professor Goswami apologised for “spoofing” everybody over the years. “I’m coming near the end of my days now and I just want to get this off my chest,” he said. “I just hope the world can forgive us”.
On Quantum Physics, God and the After-Life
by Lasha Darkmoon
Dead-or-alive cat vs. Uncertainty Principle
Reader, here are a few random notes on quantum physics which may be of interest to you.
I have just learned that the website that published the above article specializes in satirical spoofs. So quantum physics fans can relax! The above article was satire. The weird and wonderful world of quantum physics, complete with Schrödinger’s cat and an infinite number of parallel universes, is still with us.
I am also reliably informed that the nice Indian professor, Dr Goswami, never uses such bad language in his lectures and seminars and that his students would recoil in horror if he kept coming out with the F-word in such a shocking manner. Having said that, however, I must add that any student of quantum physics will tell you that there is bound to be a universe, somewhere or other, in which another version of Dr Goswami is doing just that — swearing like a trooper and using the F-word!
According to quantum physics, there a universe in which Hitler won the Second World War. This is not science fiction. It is fact.
In that other alternative universe, every bit as valid as the one we inhabit, Hitler killed all the Jews in the world and there was not a single Jewish survivor left to tell the tale, nor a single Holocaust museum to commemorate the extermination of the Jews.
But wait! there is also a universe in which Hitler killed no Jews at all—not systematically and in large numbers—because he never intended to holocaust them in the first place! In such a universe, large numbers of Jews survived and went on to allege the extermination of six million Jews and to build numerous Holocaust museums to commemorate that fictitious event.
I am not being facetious, nor am I stating that this is the universe where this happened. I am simply saying that, according to quantum physics, there certainly IS a universe in which no Jews were systematically killed in gas chambers on the orders of Hitler.
The variations to this story, of course, are infinite.
There is a universe in which the very concept of God does not exist and where not a single sentient being has even entertained that possibility.
There are other universes where everyone, without exception, believes implicitly in God, for they experience him every day of their lives.
There are universes full of demons, hellfire, everlasting torments. There are heavens and hells and purgatories scattered all across the multiverse. There are more universes than there are grains of sand in all the galaxies of a thousand trillion planets. Yes! there are more universes than there are drops of waters in the Infinite Ocean that swirls like a tempest in Brahman’s brain!
To quote the subtitle of a best-selling book on quantum physics: “Everything that can happen does happen.” Or in the words of the English mystical poet William Blake, “Everything possible to be believed is an image of the Truth.”
I am making none of this up. I don’t have to. You will find it everywhere in quantum physics. And the insights of quantum physics can be found in the great Oriental religions. Read The Tao of Physics, by Fritjjof Capra. According to its sub-title, this is “an exploration of the parallels between modern physics and Eastern mysticism.”
If you want to read a stimulating essay about the great debt which quantum physics owes to Vedanta, you could try reading How does quantum physics work, you may ask, what is it, and where does it come from? This will tell you how the great insights of quantum physics are found prefigured in the Vedas. Schrödinger, Einstein and Tesla were apparently all heavily influenced by Vedantic philosophers such as Shankara, Ramanuja and Madhva.
Much has been written on the theory of parallel universes. Here are a few books which I happen to have in my library. I haven’t had time to read them all yet, but I hope to do so before I die: The Never-Ending Days of Being Dead, by Marcus Chown; Schrödinger’s Kittens and the Search for Reality: Solving the Quantum Mysteries, by John Gribbin; Parallel Worlds: The Science of Alternative Universes and our Future in the Cosmos, by Michio Kaku.
Inseparable from science is the idea of God. Even the most atheistical scientists appear to be haunted by the idea of God. Or of God’s possibility. Even as they run from God, God’s specter pursues them, never letting them rest. For according to the uncanny dictates of quantum physics, the mere possibility of God guarantees his existence. Whatever can be, is.
Amazingly, the world is full of irrational people who hate God because he doesn’t exist. And if God’s existence were suddenly proved to them, they would hate him even more for refuting their atheism!
Two theoretical physicists who have obsessed about God at great length are Paul Davies and John Polkinghorne. See The Mind of God: Science and the Search for Ultimate Meaning, by Paul Davies; and God and the New Physics, by the same author. As for Professor John Polkinghorne, he has had no problem in reconciling quantum physics with Christianity. He has done so in numerous books whose titles can be found here. If you have time, read his short essay Quarks, Chaos, and Christianity.
Here is an extended quote from Polkinghorne about the veracity of miracles; or the possibility that there are times and places where the laws of physics are suspended:
“Unprecedented things [may occur]. After all, God is the ordainer of the laws of nature, not someone who is subject to them. However, precisely because they are his laws, simply to overturn them would be for God to act against God, which is absurd.
The theological question is, does it make sense to suppose that God has acted in a new way? One thing that is theologically incredible is that God is some sort of celestial conjuror, doing a turn to impress today that he didn’t think of yesterday, and won’t be bothered to do tomorrow. God can’t be capricious. He must be utterly consistent. However, consistency isn’t the same as dreary uniformity.
In unprecedented circumstances, God can do unexpected things. Yet there will always be a deep underlying consistency that makes it intelligible, for example, that God raised Jesus from the dead that first Easter Day, while, in the course of present history, our experience is that dead men stay dead. The search for this consistency is the theological challenge of miracle.
— Quarks, Chaos, and Christianity pp 82-83; quoted here.
Professor Robert Lanza, from Wake Forest University School of Medicine in North Carolina, maintains that quantum physics has conclusively proved the existence of an afterlife.
Lanza claims that his theory of biocentrism proves that death is an illusion. He argues that the universe does not create life, but that life creates the universe. This means that space and time don’t exist in the linear fashion we think they do. Lanza uses the famous double-split experiment to illustrate his point. And if space and time aren’t linear, then death can’t exist in any real sense either.
I am more or less quoting Lanza here without quotation marks.
“Bottom line: What you see could not be present without your consciousness,” Lanza explains. “Our consciousness makes sense of the world.”
A person’s consciousness determines the shape and size of objects in the universe. Lanza uses the example of the way we perceive the world around us.
A person sees a blue sky, and is told that the colour they are seeing is blue, but the cells in a person’s brain could be changed to make the sky look green or red. Our consciousness makes sense of the world, and can be altered to change this interpretation.
Theoretical physicists believe that there is infinite number of universes with different variations of people, and situations taking place, simultaneously.
Lanza added that everything which can possibly happen is occurring at some point across these multiverses and this means death can’t exist in ‘any real sense’ either. Lanza, instead, said that when we die our life becomes a ‘perennial flower that returns to bloom in the multiverse.’
“If the experience of science teaches anything,” Prof. John Polkinghorne notes, “it’s that the world is very strange and surprising. The many revolutions in science have certainly shown that.”
The sheer uncanniness of the universe is a constantly repeated meme among scientists. The more we think about the universe, the weirder it becomes.
A few years ago, a Cambridge scientist at a cocktail party said to me in jest, with a merry twinkle in his eye: “The universe is impossible. That’s why it exists.” I riposted, “Credo quia absurdum — I believe because it is absurd!” — “Touché!” he laughed, downing his drink.
The great physicist Sir James Jeans was once asked in an interview: “Do you believe that life on this planet is the result of some sort of accident, or do you believe that it is a part of some great scheme?”
I incline to the idealistic theory that consciousness is fundamental, and that the material universe is derivative from consciousness, not consciousness from the material universe. In general, the universe seems to me to be nearer to a Great Thought than to a great machine. It may well be that each individual consciousness ought to be compared to a brain-cell in a Universal Mind. (See here)
This is what any reasonable person can ask of a religion: to see if it works.
The reason for the steep decline in religion nowadays has nothing to do with Darwinism and the triumph of the scientific outlook. It is the easiest thing in the world to reconcile science and religion. Cambridge physicist and mathematician John Polkinghorne, who won the prestigious Templeton prize for his work in particle physics, also happens to be a practicing Christian.
Neither Newton nor Pascal, though they lived well before Darwin, had any problem with Christianity. Newton wrote more extensively about the Bible than he did about physics. As for Pascal, mathematician and philosopher who helped to lay the groundwork with Fermat for Leibnitz’ formulation of the infinitesimal calculus, his faith was based on a mystical experience so intense, lasting two hours, that it haunted him for the rest of his life.
Those who visit China have no difficulty believing in the existence of China; and those who have seen the face of the imperishable Beauty never forget it.
“The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine,” said the physicist Sir Arthur Eddington, echoing almost identical words by British biologist JBS Haldane.