Royal Roasting: Prince Andrew Compared to Queen Victoria’s Sex Mad Son, ‘Dirty Bertie’

Satire by Richard Littlejohn on the latest sex scandal to rock the royal family. Brief comments from Lasha Darkmoon.  

Daily Mail Columnist 

November 22, 2019



Albert Edward, Prince of Wales, later to become King Edward VII (1841-1910), is here compared satirically with Prince Andrew, inset, who has been effectively disgraced by his close association with Jeffrey Epstein’s stable of underage girls.

As Prince Andrew is forced out of public life over his relationship with the paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein, it’s worth reflecting on how some of his predecessors might have fared under the glare of the modern media spotlight. Take, for instance, Queen Victoria’s son Albert Edward, Prince of Wales, the Playboy Prince, who went on to become Edward VII.

Known to the Royal Family as ‘Bertie’, he had a voracious sexual appetite, earning him the nicknames ‘Dirty Bertie’ and ‘Edward the Caresser’.

There are plenty of parallels with the plight of Prince Andrew, although alongside Dirty Bertie, Randy Andy comes across as a rank amateur. The difference is that Prince Edward’s promiscuity and serial indiscretions, while fairly common knowledge, went largely unreported in an age of deference.

If newspapers of the day had been free to report the truth, late Victorians could have been reading stories like this:

The Pall Mall Gazette

Dateline London, November 22nd, 1899.
From our Royal Correspondent . . .

His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales is under intense pressure to resign from all his official duties following sensational revelations about his debauched behaviour.

His whoring, gambling and unsuitable friendships have all been laid bare in an exclusive interview he granted to the Pall Mall Gazette, an ill-fated attempt to salvage his reputation.

As a number of leading charities sought to distance themselves from the Prince, Her Majesty Queen Victoria (pictured) summoned him to Buckingham Palace for crisis talks.

It is expected he will have to renounce his right of succession and go into exile, although probably not to France. French investigators are seeking his extradition for questioning in connection with allegations he has been indulging in sex with minors.

Some of his most sordid sexual encounters have taken place at a so-called ‘high class’ Paris brothel called Le Chabanais. The Prince has his own private room with a huge bath filled with champagne. Eye-witnesses report that he bathes for hours with several young prostitutes.

Agents from the French Bureau of Investigations (FBI) now want to interview His Royal Highness over allegations that many of these women had been trafficked and were under the age of consent.

The revelations came to light after one woman contacted the #MoiAussi movement, which exposes sexual predators in high places.

According to FBI files, as he got older and piled on the pounds, the Prince commissioned French furniture manufacturer Soubrier to build him a special chair which would allow him to make love to two women at once without running the risk of him crushing them. Last night, investigators were still puzzling over how this contraption worked.

LD: We are kept guessing as to how this heavy-duty ‘love chair’ actually worked, enabling the jumbo-sized  (48-inch waist) Bertie to sport with two young women at once without crushing them to death. (The chair pictured, here and here). I confess I am baffled by this mysterious contraption.

A trip the Prince took to the United States in 1860 is also coming under the microscope. Did he stay at the Manhattan mansion of one of his financier friends, or visit the notorious Florida vice den known as Mar-a-Lago?

Back in England, the Prince is reputed to have had at least 50 lovers, including the celebrated actress Lily Langtry; Lady Randolph Churchill, whose son Winston will lead Britain to victory in World War II; and Alice Keppel, whose great-granddaughter Camilla Parker Bowles will one day become the mistress of a future Prince of Wales.

The Prince doesn’t only have a huge sexual appetite, he’s an incorrigible glutton. According to royal sources, he insists on five ten-course meals a day, washed down with fine wines, port and champagne. He smokes 20 cigarettes daily and numerous cigars.

He has ballooned to a 48in waist, leading to him being condemned by anti-obesity campaigners, as well as anti-tobacco groups.

He was attacked by climate change protesters after taking delivery of one of the new-fangled horseless carriages, which stand accused of contaminating atmosphere and blackening the sky.

His Royal Highness first drove a four-cylinder Daimler in 1896 (pictured), provoking activists from Extinction Rebellion to glue themselves to The Mall, bringing central London to a standstill and causing a three-mile tailback of hansom cabs and omnibuses.

Last night, Daimler was one of the first companies to consider returning its Royal Warrant, as businesses and charities moved to distance themselves from him.

The Prince is patron of a raft of charities, including the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Hospital for Women, the Soho Square Hospital for Women, the Royal Hospital for Children and Women at Waterloo, and Great Ormond Street Hospital for Sick Children.

All of these organisations are now severing their links with him, saying that any continued association would be ‘inappropriate’. If they don’t act now, there are genuine fears that at some time in the future a sexually predatory celebrity could gain access to vulnerable women and children in hospitals under the guise of working for “charity” — even though Jimmy Savile is not alive yet.

IF only this picture could have included  TONY BLAIR!

Royal-watchers were amazed when the Prince agreed to be interviewed by the Pall Mall Gazette in an attempt to rescue his reputation. Did he recall throwing sex parties at Sandringham for his mistresses, including a notorious Italian madam said to procure prostitutes for him?

“No,” he said, to our correspondent’s astonishment. “It was a shooting weekend, just a straightforward shooting weekend.”

Did he regret paying numerous visits to the Parisian brothel, Le Chabanais?

“It was a convenient place to stay. At the time I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do.”

Did he not think it was odd, all those half-naked young women everywhere?

“It was almost like a railway station in the sense that there were people coming in and out of that house all the time. You have to remember that as a member of the Royal Family, I’m used to staff walking around.”

Half naked?

Is there any way he could have had sex with a young woman trafficked to the brothel?

“No, and without putting too fine a point on it, if you’re a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody—and I do not remember anything.”

By now sweating profusely in a three-piece Harris Tweed shooting outfit, the Prince was asked about a photograph of him with his arm round a young woman who says she was forced to have sex with him.

He claimed it couldn’t possibly be him because he was in a Pizza Express in Woking that night, even though Pizza Express will not be invented for another 65 years . . .

Original source


17 thoughts to “Royal Roasting: Prince Andrew Compared to Queen Victoria’s Sex Mad Son, ‘Dirty Bertie’”

  1. It is plain to see they went after the idiot prince Andrew cause he is one of the few gentiles connected to Epstein. the rotten witch pimp maxwell roams free pissing on authorities. they will NEVER go after her being she was mossad therefore exposing the joossad blackmail spying worldwide operation

    1. Good point, SPQR70AD! The n***er in the woodpile is Ghislaine Maxwell, the shadowy Jewess in the background who has conveniently done a disappearing trick. Where is she? It says little for the integrity of the FBI that they make no attempt to track down this evil Jewess who is probably lying low in Israel or lurking somewhere else in plain sight.

      With all their vast resources — together with the resources of NASA, GCHQ and Interpol — it would be a piece of cake tracking down this woman and getting her to sing. To name all the big names of the VIPs who were into pedophilia big time with Epstein’s bordello of Lolitas.

      But no, the wily Jewess has given them the slip. How convenient! Maybe the FBI ought to get on the telephone to Mossad? But no,
      that would be expecting too much!

    1. @ John Kirby

      Technically, yes. It’s pedophilia according to the law of the land. It’s not up to you or me to decide when a child is a child no longer. After all,
      I may decide that anyone under 21 is still too immature to act as an adult. You may decide to see the age of consent lowered to 11.

      We can’t both have our way! 🙂

      1. Sard –

        Since “ladies” are feign to discuss their ages, need we be so concerned??? The old saying “If they’re old enough to bleed, they’re old enough to BREED” is, essentially, all that appeals to the conscience of a stiff dick… 🤔
        (The girls will lie about it, anyway.)

    2. I thought that pedophilia was attraction to pre-adolescents. What the prince is reported to have done is not nice, it may even be illegal because the girl was not of legal age – but I would not call it pedophilia. JMO. I think they ought to go after Bill Clinton, if they are going to go after anyone.

    3. More than the age issue, she claims to have been supplied with alcohol and then forced to have sex in a bathroom, then in an orgy. Rings a bell that sounds like Roman Polanski. It took 666 years of the Jewish Calendar for the FBI to locate him?

  2. Hilarious article, made even more satirically lethal by Lasha Darkmoon’s pictures and captions which are not found in the original Daily Mail article. These are LD’s additions, serving as trenchant commentary.

    The Daily Mail wouldn’t have dared to include that link to Tony Blair and Jimmy Saville, nor would it have used this final devastating picture —
    a picture that says it all:×512.jpg


    I personally believe that there would have been no crime at all if the whole concept of “age of consent” were dumped in the dustbin of history. For a start, Epstein would have committed no crime. Nor would Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, or anyone else who chose to make use of these all-too-willing Lolitas.

    These chicks weren’t exactly kidnapped, were they? They weren’t “slaves”. They went there for $$$. They were little whores, cavorting around naked all day and asking for it. And they got it! Serve ’em right! And now they’re suddenly coming forward, the little reformed whores, wailing and gnashing their teeth: “OY VEH, I was taken advantage of by these evil men! I’m gonna sue! Find me a good Jew lawyer and I’m gonna go laughing all the way to the bank.”

    It’s all about compensation. Truly disgusting. The mercenary muppets.

    Who forced them to open their legs, huh?

    1. In prehistoric times, guys were free to screw anyone walking around. Anyone’s “wife” could be screwed. If this caused any problems with the woman’s “mate”, the whole thing could be sorted out with a duel to the death, using fists or clubs or any other deadly weapon available.

      You could screw anyone’s child, with or without asking her (or his) permission. You helped yourself and simply followed your instincts. The penis has no conscience. Remember that. It’s a law unto itself.

      Unfortunately, we now have “civilization”, which is anti-Darwinian and anti-survival-of-the-fittest. If Epstein or Prince Andrew had lived in the Stone Age, they would have been regarded as heroes. We now have an unnatural situation where something is regarded as a shocking “crime” when in fact it is NOT a crime in a state of nature where the Noble Savage was gloriously free to run riot and give way to his primal urges.

      Please don’t disgust me by finding fault with my logic. And don’t accuse me of putting in a good word for pedophilia. I am not doing that. The law of the land has to be kept at all times. I am simply suggesting that the law is an “ass” and needs to be changed. Remember Hamlet’s famous dictum: “Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

      Having sex with “minors” is “bad” only because we have decided to make it bad. We have created the stigma out of our own value system. Our value system needs to be changed. Our value system sucks. As we Jews have always said, along with Nietzsche and the Frankfurt School, there should be a complete “revaluation of all values”.

      What is now “bad” can be made good — and vice versa.


      1. Seymour –

        What you say is OK with me, as long as it is OK for a father to slay the usurper of his daughter’s virginity out of wedlock. I like Harvey Weinstein movies, and really can’t blame him, and others, for bedding the Lolitas who seek his star-promotion. Mostly, they’re smokin’ HOT. 😋 They knew the score, and by seeking compen$ation, are advertising the price of their whoredom.

      2. I remember turning down Lolitas who came to me seeking to surrender their virginity.
        Truly. Those girls do exist, but I was proud to be able to gently and kindly discourage them from it. In these ugly modern times, I believe young girls are too often pressured to lose their virginity – and that fine state is no longer valued among their peers. They must be made to feel attractive, nonetheless, and THAT sometimes takes a great deal of forebearance and concentration.

    2. SZ, whn Epstein was arrested for the alleged sex trafficking of dozens of minors in New York and Florida between 2002 and 2005, the 66-year-old dirty Jew was being held in jail without bond because he’s considered a flight risk.

      “The charges are very serious, and they carry a maximum of 45 years in jail, which to someone of Epstein’s age is basically a life sentence.”

      Your comment on the subject makes sound like it was a consensual sex between two adults, which it was not. That was ISIS style of subjecting minor girls into sex slave. Hope that filthy Animal Jeffery Epstein is enjoying his stay in the Hell of fire.

  4. Good for Bertie! What else is he supposed to do? The man had a lot of free time.

    Reading the mock-up made me realize how Jewey the reporting has been for many years. When the elite could get away with these things that meant society, and the press, were in the hands of WASPs. A much preferred state.

    Scandal is such a Jew strategy and weapon as the mock article so obviously illustrates.

  5. Politicians never change and make no mistake; royalty has never been anything but political. Despite their long-standing alliance, Jews have always hated British aristocracy, gleefully portraying them as nothing but debauched dilettantes in movies like The Ruling Class. Of course, even with the obviously Jewish Epstein affair, no one bothers to examine the racial connection of those with whom these royal misfits have been in league.

    How many remember Britain’s Profumo scandal? Same stage play, different scenario, different actors. Due to the Jews’ tight control of information during that time, Jews managed to write out any mention of their role in this particular script, but note the Judeocommunist presence and the sudden suicides because actors could no longer live with themselves.

    The 1963 Profumo affair, was a British political scandal which brought about the resignation of John Profumo, the Secretary of State for War that led to the defeat of the Conservative government a year later.

    Cui Bono? Also note this character lurking in the background. True, a goy, but whose boy?

    So now we come to the current politician Jews love to hate. And why shouldn’t Jews hate Trump? Maybe for reasons like this one –

    The US has shifted its position on Israeli settlements in the occupied West Bank, no longer viewing them as inconsistent with international law.

    Perhaps you noticed the veiled threat in this statement? If the Jew’ slaughter of the Palestinians is now within the bounds of international law, this means should any country be so brash as to try interfering, the Jews’ American proxy will be obligated to intervene on Israel’s behalf.

    Oh wait, I’m sorry, my apologies. Let’s return to examining prince Andrew’s con-genital condition. Then we won’t notice what Jews are doing behind their not-so-carefully scripted scenes.

    Friend or foe, with Jews you lose.

  6. We should know by now that gentile royalty has it’s privileges; as does a Prince of Judah or a Jewish Princess.
    Even some of the Princes of the Catholic Church have been caught with their weenies in the cookie jars. (Read: Lucifer’s Lodge: Satanic Ritual Abuse in the Catholic Church by William H. Kennedy. Amazon has one new for a mere $999 and a few used for $250 each. Published May 17 2004 TJ got his copy hot off the press for $21.95.

    TJ just loved the fine French artistic detail in Edward’s rocking horse complete with stirrups. This puts real meaning in the phrase “rock and roll”. Billy boy Clinton would have been riding high on such a contraption. However, even though America’s good old Southern boy could have ridden such a French inspiration for a gynecologist table straight into the White House, he mostly preferred the more direct approach before biting down hard with his pearly whites.

    TJ is not holding his breath waiting for an in debt exposure of the Rabbinical peccadilloes as relates to 8 year old girls and even younger boys all with Talmudic imprint. Maybe Mr. Zak would be up to writing such a book since this seems to be right up his alley.

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