Suicide Note [*DARK POEM*]

WARNING : Please don’t read this poem
if you are under 18  and of nervous disposition.

GHOST  TOWN, Gothic Horror Art

by Madame Butterfly

unbelievably mad
that’s what we all are
demonically bad
on a demon star

i try to be good
god knows I try
to do all I should
and keep my nose dry

i smile all I can
and toss coins in the box
and visit my gran 
and mind how I talks

it ain’t no good
i’m evil still
and goin’ over the hill

how should i do it 
o tell me dear sir 
don’t say you blew it 
which noose you prefer

46 thoughts to “Suicide Note [*DARK POEM*]”

  1. You gotta go through Hell
    Before you get to Heaven.

    Those that flunk the grade
    End up as a Shade.

    Lest that make you queasy
    Your choice should now be easy.

  2. how should i do it
    o tell me dear sir
    don’t say you blew it
    which noose you prefer

    I won’t, ma’am.

    Knot theory is a fascinating branch of mathematics, which, unfortunately, is not a field of my expertise, but I would hazard a wild guess:

    The best noose is the one you tighten with mathematical precision around the neck of your adversary.

  3. Back when I was younger, I dealt with some pretty bad stuff, that threatened to drive me into that hopeless state, where one starts to get weird thoughts. I formed a habit of reading books written by people who went a far worse condition than I did, and yet, they were able to get through all of it. Books, such as “Prisoner Of Mao” made what I was going through look like a joke. Then I read, “The Doctor And The Damned” pretty tuff stuff. It was about a Jewish Doctor who passed as a Gentile Doctor in the Nazi Labour Camps. (I do accept the fact that people of Jewish background were persecuted, murdered, tortured, and tormented, as part of the so many others who went through the terrible experience. What outrages me, is the fact that there were people of Jewish background, the Kapos, The Leaders of Jewish Organizations who corroborated with the Nazi)
    There was this lady, who could not take it anymore, and was looking longingly at the Electric Fence, mulling over whether she should jump at the fence ad and end it all. And there was this friend of here, telling her, that life, is a Movie of a different sought. You are the Script Writer, the Director, the Actor, and also the Audience, all in One. So, she was telling her;

    “If You Jump Into The Fence , You Will Never Know; What Happened Next ?”

    So, for those who may be in that dark gloomy moment which the poet speaks about, just think about it;

    “If You Jump Into The Fence , You Will Never Know; What Happened Next ?”

  4. Pull the brakes, go and see a psychologist (they are networked), before in a moment of madness one goes over to the deed. Unemployment is the reason for every fifth suicide, if my sources are correct (same reason in war situations, e.g. sanctions / sea blockade against Germany WWI and WWI). People shorten their lives before they slowly die of hunger, or take to drugs, which is a slow death sentence, to escape the reality. Very worried about the collateral damage of this lockdown.

  5. Suicide is a temporary solution to a temporary problem.When people kill themselves, they think they’re ending the pain, but all they’re doing is passing it on to there next life.“Contrary to popular misconception, karma has nothing to do with punishment and reward. It exists as part of our holographic universe’s binary or dualistic operating system only to teach us responsibility for our creations – and all things we experience are our creations.”Nobody deserves misery but sometimes it’s just your turn.

    1. “Nobody deserves misery but sometimes it’s just your turn”.
      Suicidal thoughts are self inflicted. The urge to destroy oneself in order to cease ALL PAIN and suffering (mostly) created by ones own self inflicted denial of the true self and a reality that is eternally freed of conflict and physical turmoil and from the “human condition” of duality itself. Though what an opportunity for a being to learn from a self inflicted process that teaches oneself responsibility for ones own creation and reactions to “things” one experiences as cause and effect (or to start over again “somewhere in a better place” while forgetting that the thinker of the thoughts travels within).

    2. Some problems aren’t temporary. I don’t look down on people who kill themselves. Some desperate persons know darn well that they will have to answer for their actions in the next life, whatever that might be, but who is anyone to say that suicide is not a legitimate part of a particular person’s present existence.

      If you were running from the bolshevik hordes in 1945, having seen what they have done to others, and you have the opportunity to not be tortured to death by killing yourself – why is that anyone else’s business to judge?

      1. @ Wyandotte

        I find your comment refreshingly wise,
        and Lasha would also agree with it 100 per cent.

        Let those who think suicide wrong refrain from suicide;
        but they have no right to ram their views down other people’s throats.
        To do so is is not only intolerant, it is tyrannical.

        1. Well said, Monica darling! And well said, Wyandotte. I can now shop around for a good hempen rope with an easy conscience! 🙂

          Seriously though, we give mercy killing to our dogs and cats. And yet we deny an easy death to our nearest and dearest. There can be no excuse for this shocking cruelty.

          It should certainly be against the law to kill anyone against their wills, without asking them if they minded! You don’t go around bumping people off without consulting them first. But if someone has made it absolutely clear in their wills, when they are still in full possession of their senses (compos mentis), that they are in favour of voluntary euthanasia and would wish to die if the urgent need ever arose—then the green light should be given.

          There could even be legislation to prevent their relatives receiving their legacies for 5-10 years. This is in order to preempt the possibility that their relatives have applied psychological pressure on them to die. Thus would be removed at one stroke one of the main objections to euthanasia.

      2. @Sister Monica. Many thanks!

        What a fallen world this is. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s no such thing as an Apocalypse around the corner…

      3. People who kill themselves live in unbearable pain. You can see suicide in a Vedic astrological chart
        One might argue it is their destiny and forced upon them in away that most people cant appreciate.
        Try living with insufficient dopamine for example. The depression could be overwhelming.
        Its too easy to blame karma and think god punishes with retribution:

        In the end, each life is no more than the sum of contingent facts, a chronicle of chance intersections, of flukes, of random events that divulge nothing but their own lack of purpose
        says the enlightenment.
        But that doesnt make sense either

    3. Interesting: Ive been revisiting this idea of karma. Sometimes this eastern religious idea feels too convenient; i.e. a limited conceptual solution to a mind boggling conundrum about causality. It strikes me that a piece of the puzzle is missing.

      Let’s face it, the earth is essentially an extremely difficult place. All sentient beings including humans remain under constant threat from the subtlest emotional and mental stresses through a multiplicity of existential threats always ending in calamity. This is what all of us inherit at birth. If you buy the idea of karma, you must also buy the idea of making good choices. Conversely, if you buy the legitimism of jyotish you have to buy the idea of destiny, and destiny precludes choice, irrespective of the illusion of it.

      So consider this: we are defined largely by DNA, intelligence, resources, talent and a situational environment etc. These qualities command behavior. No less than hunger commands that we eat. This is inherent in the creation of sentient beings.

      Monsters, saints and all in-between are created through no choice of their own, but the hand which created us i.e. a great and terrible god — with less morality than even a well-intended morally kind human being possessed.

      1. @ Zebra Black

        “Monsters, saints and all in-between are created through no choice of their own, but the hand which created us i.e. a great and terrible god — with less morality than even a well-intended morally kind human being possessed.”

        A profound comment, well worth reading. However, please don’t take offence when I tell you that you have been seriously misled by the tempting fallacies of gnostcism. A veritable “monster” of a God — in your own words “a great and terrible god” totally devoid of morality — could not possibly create “well-intended” and “morally kind humans.”

        Ask my friend Homer here — indeed, ask the astute Lobro or anyone who has dwelt seriously on these metaphysical problems — and they will tell you what is absolutely self-evident: that devil gods cannot create saintly human beings.

        Out of evil . . . only more evil can come.

      2. Zebra, you say – Interesting: Ive been revisiting this idea of karma. Sometimes this eastern religious idea feels too convenient; i.e. a limited conceptual solution to a mind boggling conundrum about causality. It strikes me that a piece of the puzzle is missing.

        Have you looked for the missing piece of the puzzle here?

        Or here?

        Or, saving the best for last, here.

  6. As Catholics, November is the month we’re supposed to pray for the souls in Purgatory, NOT the month to indulge in suicide ideation. Am I not right, Sister Mother Superior? Suicide is a sin in the Catholic faith, and it’s a sin to promote or encourage suicide, right Mother Superior?

  7. The WARNING should also include : Please don’t read if you appreciate good poetry and don’t like lousy crappy poetry and don’t care for goths, meth heads, and heavy metal music. If you appreciate good poetry this poem will be a waste of your time.

  8. No one ever paid any attention to Madame when she was singing opera arias so now she’s going to pretend to be suicidal in order to get attention. Maybe, when she was younger and trying to get into show business, maybe she should have tried out for dramatic roles instead of singing opera, she’s such an overboard drama queen she probably would have made it in the movies as a B movie drama actress, like Lana Turner or Susan Hayward , somebody like that….

    As we all love Italian so much, from, lol, La Valle Delle Bambola :

  9. Poetry is nothing but an expression of sentiment. It is a moody business, and Madame quite adequately described her mood in this good piece of poetry. You’d be a liar if you said you’d never even contemplated it. (Every time I have, I’ve concluded it a shoddy business, anyway. I concluded that my death may as well count for something…)
    She should know, too, that if she suicides, we’ll miss her! 🙃

      1. For those who are interested, here is an unpublished passage from an essay on suicide by my dear friend and spiritual mentor Lasha Darkmoon. I can see no fault with the reasoning here, though many of you will. That is your choice.

        LD writes in her unpublished essay, In Praise of Suicide:

        To be serious, many people who contemplate suicide back away before doing it. Obviously this is because the survival instinct kicks in at the last moment. But when the pain is truly unbearable, both physical and mental, there is a good case for state-sanctioned voluntary euthanasia.

        This is available in a watered down form in Switzerland through ‘Dignitas’, but this discriminates against the poor who cannot afford the high fees involved in getting oneself put to sleep peacefully and without pain ($12,000-15,000). We give our dogs a cheap injection to put them out of their misery, but our loved ones receive no such kindness.

        Every attempt is made to keep them alive, forcing them to live on in pain or as semi-vegetables. And the main motive for doing this is purely monetary, so that Big Pharma and the medical profession can profit from the sale of painkillers, anti-depressants, and palliative care in nursing homes for the terminally ill.

        The Church, too, makes huge monetary gains by making suicide a mortal sin and rejecting voluntary euthanasia. This is because they obtain huge legacies every month from old people who are looked after by them, and who later reward them by leaving them their houses and their entire property, including generous donations in their wills. The amount of money the Vatican receives in legacies every year from good Catholics all over the word is truly staggering, amounting to several billion dollars.

        Make no mistake, keeping people alive against their wills is a huge monetary scam from which both Church and State benefit enormously.

        Surely if we can have the “CHOICE” over abortion — whether to kill our unborn children or not — we should enjoy exactly the same choice over euthanasia. If you believe euthanasia is wrong on religious grounds, that’s fine. You don’t have to do it! No one is forcing you to die against your will! So what’s the problem?

        The compelling question is: by what right do you force others to do what you think is right for yourself? That is totalitarian. It’s a form of fascistic bullying. If Hemingway wants to kill himself, as he did by shooting himself in the mouth, you have no right to grab the gun from his hand! Don’t meddle with people’s rights to kill themselves.

        The Stoics, including Seneca, thought suicide a noble act and did it in Ancient Rome without a twinge of conscience. And it was thoroughly approved by the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius. Among the Ancient Greeks, Socrates drank the poisoned cup (hemlock) without turning a hair. Among the moderns, Schopenhauer sings the praises of euthanasia in his essay “On Suicide”, giving countless examples of how suicide was not only acceptable in most other cultures but regarded as noble and good — a truly honourable act.

        But when life is insupportable, the choice of ending one’s miseries — the crippling pain suffered each wearisome day — must be left to the individual sufferer. Any attempt to stop this from happening amounts to criminal interference. A sacrilegious abomination.

        When Arthur Koestler, suffering from a painful incurable disease, committed suicide by drinking a cocktail of narcotic drugs, his wife went with him through the portals of death. There was nothing wrong with her physically or mentally. But she decided, out of love for her husband, to keep him company on his final journey.

        Good for them, I say, and others like them! May they find peace together in the Great Beyond. God is too kind and merciful to punish them with eternal hell fire for choosing to die at the right moment of their own choice. God is not a totalitarian dictator. He is kindness personified.

        — Lasha Darkmoon, In Praise of Suicide (excerpt).

        LATER: LD asks me to make a correction. The title of her original essay, which was basically rough notes, was not “In Praise of Suicide” but “In Defence of Voluntary Euthanasia.” My mistake. Sorry.

  10. Giving new-old meaning to the “fear of God is the beginning of wisdom” thinking of which even a tad is worth more than all the gold and diamonds in this world.

    Not the same fear as the fear of big Bob the bully or the excitable Overton brothers, rather the fear of impersonal judgement and sentencing. Karma/auto-justice.

    The removal of the doctrines of Karma and Reincarnation from Christian scripture was and is an immeasurable crime against humanity. The abhorrently false leaders of this sad sinking world have made so-called modern life unimaginably shallow and cheap.


    1. Lets remember that much of Christian scripture is a selective product of bronz / iron age Roman politicians 300 AD with a political / social engineering agenda. Thats one of its problems in my opinion.

    2. How can the ONE GOD who is Love itself be feared at the same time? Impossible!!
      The One who speaks of the fear of God has neither understood God nor oneself. To fear death (before the actual moment of death in the body occurs) is quite common in believers and atheists alike. Fear will strike hard – if made real by the ANGST to loose ones ONLY body. It devastates and conquers the always racing mind before ones heart can take control. Though in this very moment a simple choice is to be made: To choose LOVE instead of fear. Or to choose Faith instead as a substitute. It could be a welcome start but to choose the LOVE of GOD will be the ultimate goal as it is all the essence of a “new” life form that bears no room for FEAR or attempts of malfeasance or manipulation.
      In the German language there is a word called “EHRFURCHT” and “reverence, awes, awestruck, awed, awed by awe” are the closest English translations which still miss the mark (IMO). Much like a “FEAR OF GOD” that abuses, reverses and quarantines the human connection to the divine. There is only ONE immeasurable crime against humanity: False teachings/religions to fear the living GOD as man!

  11. Sounds like someone’s in need of some serious TLC… not to mention a good old-fashioned ‘slap on the bum’ to knock some sense into her.

    MB, purely as an act of Christian Charity, I MIGHT, had it not been for CovidScam, considered taking you out on the town to drown your sorrows…. assuming, of course, that Sr Monica made herself available for “chaperone duties” lest you turned up dressed like a trollop or got a bit too “frisky” after your seventh pint of best-bitter.

    It might interest you to know that a former beau of mine, also happened to be an opera singer…. nothing of world-renown as far as I could gather. but nevertheless good enough to excercise her lungs in Carnegie Hall on the odd occasion. In fact she’d drag me around to all her soirées as “protection” from the “Sisters Of Sappho” who apparently figured prominently on the Operatic Circuit. It was she who first christened me “Renaissance Man”… an honorific I later luxuriated in (once ii found out what it meant). But, needless to say, nothing good lasts forever… and her discovering that I’d pawned her gift of a Longines gold watch to pay off some gambling debts certainly didn’t help matters… the final nail in the coffin being her psychotic suspicion that I was trying to “hit” on her sister!

    But I digress. If you are going to “jump” can you make sure it’s not off Putney Bridge around 3 or 4pm this coming Friday as I have an important engagement to the north and wouldn’t want any police cars, medics or rubber-neckers holding up traffic and making me late. tia

  12. The only way to end it is to go down fighting. Self immolation by fire or other means is not very inspiring. St. Joan of Arc burned at the stake was inspiring because she went up fighting. (Read Mark Twain’s “Joan of Arc” who said “…the best of all my books: and it is the best…”
    Maybe Sydney Powell is our middle aged 21 century Joan of Arc. St. Sydney anyone?

    1. Woe to the nation who believes that “Sydney Powell is our middle aged 21 century Joan of Arc”!

      The naïveté of Americans is the source of endless fascination for me.

      Some of them – who, strangely enough, consider themselves as the most advanced ones – are totally convinced that the Earth is flat, others are certain that Hiroshima and Nagasaki never happened for the simple reason that there is no such thing as nuclear bomb, others believe that the USA landed the first man on the Moon, beating thereby the USSR in space race, still others are absolutely convinced that the world is run by and from a state in the Middle East which didn’t even exist on the map 75 years ago.

      It is truly touching!

      I assert that Russia shall have no trouble beating the shit out of this totally debilised nation and bringing it to its freaking senses… if it is not too late already, that is.

  13. “How should i do it?” will likely be asked in the beginning of the process of “total destruction” in ones own mind and the “actual event” to overcome oneself is still a long way down the track. When uncertainty will be replaced by certainty the “troubled” mind reaching the “finishing line of death” is much closer. When believing in God and life as creation itself – as Madame does – suicide only serves self interests and the illusion of grandeur to be greater than God and life itself – even in “death”.

    “But many people want to look upon God with the eyes with which they look upon a cow; they want to love God the way they love a cow that you love because it gives you milk and cheese. This is how people behave who want to love God because of external wealth or inner comfort; but they do not love God properly: rather, they love their self interest.” M.Eckhart

  14. When you look outside, you see the word of the creator and the ONLY word of the creator. This has been tried to be explained but most come up short as the creator and his ghost are eternal as is creation. The name of god didn’t come out of any testament but did come from the Greek Septuagint in the 1st century as I AM (Hebrew has no equivalent with 22 consonants and divinity schools have an asterisk by this noun/verb. The Kingdom of God is not what is stated by Freemasons and their 2 Johns of Freemasonry with Kingdom come but the creation of God has always been, is and always will be as this is what is found in the ancient Greek and Latin and the “Lord’s Prayer” is fraud just as their is no written word of god as this is written in the “hearts” of all creatures which all are our neighbors (again, the translation is that of Freemasonry and Hebrew and man made). Man was never to eat flesh of creatures with blood, i.e. as the fruit, nut, vegetation, beans, grains… It is clear that the closest to this are the Buddhists and indigenous that were all but wiped out. Look at a physiology comparison of Carnivors, Omnivores, Herbavores and the Nut meats/vegatable/seed… groups. It becomes absolutely true that what man eats in animals is going to lead, not only to physical death but spiritual death.

    Soon mankind will for the most part, be on the other side of the slaughter house and corporate farm with the Great Reset based on Oligarchy/Corporatism. What was wild and magnificent but also peaceful and soul fulfilling the Europeans and Asians turned into a cesspool. Now there are too many of us as we consume and plunder 5 earths worth of what are nothing more than resources, a source of money, the god of man.

    I can see that the old testament of the Pentateuch was written of 2 minds, the hateful and greatful. Which did we choose but the hateful. Man is considered to be beneath the animals we torture, slaughter from day 1 for milk or eliminate male chicks because only the hens lay eggs, start cutting into the flesh of birds, pigs, cattle before they are even dead. It’s quite a sight. This is what man has become.

    We all were given a choice of evil or good and most have followed evil. Like fools we follow orders to hate our fellow man and wipe each other out in the most viscous and harmful way with maximum pain. Does man have a brain or brainwashed and cannot think at all. At Christmas Time in WWI, the British and Germans put down their weapons and celebrated this day. Rothschild wanted to end Russia, Ukraine and Germany while the Kabbalah had the number published in 1000s of magazines and news papers for over 50 years of 6000000 dead, dying, tortured.. when it was the opposite, Bolsheviks (Jews), 60,000,000 Christians dead, Ukraine and Holodomor 6-7 million starved to death, WWI, the great fraud of the 2nd most evil president in US history along with 2 countries that sold their soul long ago, France and UK (the 100+ million the UK have wiped out on a whim is second only to what the US totals up when adding complicity) through the Cathars and Temple Knights now known as Freemasonry. The US was founded for Rothschild and became an asset when the banking systems are nothing but shares of stock for the Bank Corporation called the US Treasury owned completely by Rothschild and Associates and the US went into receivership in 1933 (read James Traficant and the house notes and Black’s law explaination that the US is and always was a corporation since Hamilton sold the US as collateral. The American Revolution wasn’t about freedom, but Liberty which if you are the highest level of one of over 100 Fraternal organizations, allows those that can to do whatever they please, hence “Do as thou wilt” – Alister Crowley.

    Spiritum Sanctum – Invocation of the Holy Ghost
    DEUM PATREM SPIRITUM SANCTUM, meaning God The Father The Holy Ghost who was, is and ever shall be.
    DEUM JESUM CHRISTUM or in English, God Jesus Christ who was, is and ever shall be.
    *DEAM MATRONAM NOSTRAE or in English, God the Mother, Our Lady (not to be confused with Yahweh which is actually Yam(a)VVee as Yama is the male and VVee or Vee is the female as the occult shows the devil of both male and female. The Tetragrammaton (dark ages) has four entities, Father, Mother, Son and Daughter

    Amen = El (God) Melech (King) Neamon (Truth) Jewish Talmud
    Satan = Satya Ananta or Truth Eternal in Sanskrit

    If you love god, as you do unto the least of these, you do unto me.

  15. L.D Says;
    “Surely if we can have the “CHOICE” over abortion — whether to kill our unborn children or not — we should enjoy exactly the same choice over euthanasia.”

    And I say, “There are a lot of valid reason for opening “The Pandora’s Box” of legalizing Euthanasia. But If you are not sure that you can safely put the Genie back, if it turns out to be a Monster, you are playing “The Russian Roulette”

  16. Stop with the guilt made by religious criminals…. and keep the efforts of your labor yourself. I would guess that the creator does not need yours and can make plenty of gold for the zealots. 💪😎

  17. Satan is the lord of the world, evil rules for centuries, evil brings benefits, sensitive people are doomed, this world will end in the apocalypse anyway, less and less human rights and behavior, god is artificial intelligence, life on this planet full of suffering does not exist no sense, unless you choose the spiritual path … but this too maybe just an illusion …

    1. This is a biased view from the perspective of some

      In Theistic Satanism, Satan is considered a positive force and deity who is either worshipped or revered. In LaVeyan Satanism, Satan is regarded as holding virtuous characteristics.

      1. @ Zebra Black

        Am I right in thinking you are sympathetic
        to Aleister Crowley and Anton LaVey?

      2. TO M Butterfly
        Sympathetic, yes, to a point. They’re interesting side shows and Crowley more than LaVey in that he offers a fusion of Kabbalah and arcane Egyptian occult perspective and ritual processes.

  18. Before the days of the internet, I one day found myself in a university library, sitting at a table crammed with journals containing articles on suicide. It was pouring down rain on a Saturday afternoon. I suddenly realized that no matter how much information I gathered, I would not be able to bring my dead nephew back to life. He had taken his own life, only months before he was to graduate from Birmingham-Southern College. The reason I will never commit suicide, is because I understand the immense pain it leaves on survivors. Read the book, Love and Pain, by Thaddeus Golas. My nephew was studying religion & philosophy. I wish he had lived; I still miss him. I think that book would have given him as much peace as it has brought to me in understanding how the Universe might sustain itself.

  19. The main reason not to kill yourself is the same reason not to have an abortion or commit any mortal sin — it is a quick ticket to hell. At least with abortion and other mortal sins one can still humbly and sincerely repent and return to the state of grace, or life in union with God. The suicide doesn’t have that chance, unless he receives an extraordinary grace from God before his soul separates from his body and is faced with what’s called the Particular Judgment of its immortal soul.

    1. Are you speaking of the god of the bible, the Judaic god? Because the god of the bible actually gave a recipe to Moses for inducing abortions. Numbers. 5:11: 22. And Jesus stated not once but 3 times that you should hate your family but love your enemies. Perhaps that is why so many churches are welcoming the onslaught of immigrants into their countries. After my nephew died, I attended a grief support group and one of your fellow bible believers, in all his true, Christian compassion, actually stated a comment to me, similar to yours. I will tell you what will separate a soul from paradise, still believing in an archaic, psychopathic, Judaic war god when most likely, you doubt yourself is authentic. The bible is evil, and the parts that aren’t were lifted from other cultures. The bible is so evil that its followers were not even allowed to read the book and owning a single page was a crime until the 1500’s. Mass was read in Latin until 1963. What will separate a soul from heavenly space? Perhaps it will be continuing to believe in psychopathic war gods created by Hebrews in the Iron Age, and like them, thinking you are so chosen and special, that you can be openly cruel and sanctimoniously judge others that were so sad they could see no other way out.

  20. Dark Moon, dark thoughts, dark deeds … let another player join the gaming table: Dark Force.
    Max Igan is always a good listen because he is slow yet thoughtful, easy to follow as he rambles, ruminates and rummages through the brain’s attic.
    Welcome to hear it all but I would ask the interested parties to start listening here (skip to 20:26 this is Bitchute video, don’t know how to convert the timestamp into a URL—probably not possible).
    If true, the story of Max’s friend who joined Freemasons on the lark is sobering to say the least.
    I also had a sort-of friend who joined (heard thru 3rd party) and became enormously wealthy, powerful and famous tho I can’t mention his name, not only to protect his identity but also mine and the safety of my next of kin back home.
    The point that Max touches on is what is this dark force of inhuman evil, what is it and why it does what it does.
    He leaves it at that more or less but I say that as we stoop ever lower morally, the saving grace must be born of ever greater repentance and resultant resistance.

    Suicide is like turtling before this force—you chicken out but there is no out, you must go back and redo the grade before moving onward.
    Buddhists hold this view and it makes perfect sense to me.

    Out East, India especially, I have seen events and examples of such suffering, iniquity, deprivation (not merely material, oh no) to incinerate the brain, yet always met with even more incredible resolve, equanimity and good cheer … not always of course, but enough to understand that no matter how bad the circumstances seem, they can and ARE much worse elsewhere and borne with shining dignity—hence, no excuse.
    Or watching cancer-stricken toddlers playing with toys in the basement of Toronto’s Princess Margaret hospital, shaven heads crayon-marked to direct the aim of the radiation beam next door as they awaited their turn.

    Nah, either it has a definite purpose in spiritual guidance to the floor above or there ain’t no God, suicide is a valid move, Jew does whatever he wants and wins.

    “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law”

    Aleister Crowley, The Thelema

    1. And just whom operates the Free Masons? We have been lied to about everything that really matters. One must wonder the true reasons the Library of Alexandria was burned, and why common people are still not allowed into the Vatican Library Archives. We are told the ancient pyramids were built with ropes and pulleys. Even though attempts were made by academia to replicate a much smaller version of ancient pyramids, miserably failed. We are told the Hebrews were the slaves of Egyptians, although there is ample evidence, even from their own bible (Genesis 45:18) that it was the Hebrews (AKA Hyksos) who attempted to enslave the Egyptians. They didn’t flee Egypt, they were kicked out, like in so many other nations, cities, provences, of the past. The following information is quite useful in understanding our ancient past. And just as the genetic psychopaths are attempting to destroy our recent history, they aim to continue the suppression of our ancient history. 28 minutes. Oldest Native American Mummy DNA Results ( why isn’t this information widely known/broadcast?) 10 minutes.

  21. In “A Ballade of Suicide” (1911), G.K.Chesterton deals lightly with his own depression (“I think I will not hang myself to-day”), and in so doing helps others deal with theirs.

    The gallows in my garden, people say,
    Is new and neat and adequately tall;
    I tie the noose on in a knowing way
    As one that knots his necktie for a ball;
    But just as all the neighbours–on the wall–
    Are drawing a long breath to shout “Hurray!”
    The strangest whim has seized me. . . . After all
    I think I will not hang myself to-day.

    To-morrow is the time I get my pay–
    My uncle’s sword is hanging in the hall–
    I see a little cloud all pink and grey–
    Perhaps the rector’s mother will not call– I fancy that I heard from Mr. Gall
    That mushrooms could be cooked another way–
    I never read the works of Juvenal–
    I think I will not hang myself to-day.

    The world will have another washing-day;
    The decadents decay; the pedants pall;
    And H.G. Wells has found that children play,
    And Bernard Shaw discovered that they squall,
    Rationalists are growing rational–
    And through thick woods one finds a stream astray
    So secret that the very sky seems small–
    I think I will not hang myself to-day.


    Prince, I can hear the trumpet of Germinal,
    The tumbrils toiling up the terrible way;
    Even to-day your royal head may fall,
    I think I will not hang myself to-day.

  22. I’ve appreciated the comments on this thread, so thank-you all. This site in general addresses what’s important in life, not just what shampoo one prefers, red or blue, etc. I’ve discovered the book written by the philosopher, Thaddeus Golas, “Love and Pain” is selling for $75.00 + on numerous sites such as Amazon. But insiders know one can still purchase the work for $16.95 at Seed Center Books. He wrote the seminal work, The Lazy Man’s Guide To Enlightenment, which was a huge, originally self-published, underground best seller, back in the late 60’s-70’s. It was written as a guide for people ingesting pure LSD. But in his next book, which was published decades later, Love & Pain, Golas readily admitted was a correction to Lazy Man, as he realized many were not clearly understanding his basic premise, and this made many former fans, angry. It’s still the best explanation I’ve discovered on how the Universe sustains itself, and the treatise makes perfect sense to me. He describes the 3 states, or choices of being for the basic entity, entity being the “building blocks” of the Universe. What at one time was called an atom, can not be divided, pure, equal to all other entities. The choices are, Space-unimpeded expansion. Mass: Impeded implosion. Both states of Space and Mass are pleasurable, because said entities enjoy the pure pleasure of agreement. It is Energy, the attempt to be both Space and Mass at the same time, which results in pain. We are currently in the realm of Energy. Humans go from space to mass in 100s of bits per second, much like the 0’s and 1’s of a computer. We shift so quickly we are not aware of doing so. The fact that we all vibrate more at any given state be it Space, Mass or Energy, is what creates pain. But there is a way out. We do not have to return to Energy consciousness. And one doesn’t have to reach some kind of exhalted state either. It’s rather ridiculous to think one could reach perfection in an imperfect realm of Energy. If interested, follow this link.

  23. Zebra Black
    Yes to a point I am sympathetic, in that they hedge against some of the diabolical notions of the synoptic religions

    1. @ Zebra Black


      I understand that Satanists spend a lot of their time (like you) churning out breathless erotic verse replete with rosy clitorises and tumid penises as they jerk off endlessly in their seedy little basement rooms! 🙂

      Tell me sir — for I presume you belong to the “superior” male sex ‒ are you into little girls in white socks? and nubile nymphettes from Lolita Land? Do you fantasize about throwing them down dark wells built in your cellar? or sodomozimg them on makeshift altars in your basement to the sound of Gregorian chant? Or maybe you like keeping them naked in cages and masturbating over them through the bars, showering them with your hot sperm?

      I’ve never had the dubious pleasure of meeting fascinating poetic pervs like you, a devout disciple (it would seem) of Aleister Crowley and Anton LaVey. So tell me, esteemed sir, how can I get in touch with a few Grand Masters of Satanism or join a coven of nymphomaniacal witches? Any tips?

      Not to partake in their rabid rites, I must make clear, but simply for research purposes as an investigative reporter of perverted practices and unspeakably obscene abominations! 🙂

      I await your response, dear sir, with bated breath.

      — Madame Butterfly,
      Professional Psychotherapist and Voluntary Exorcist.

  24. Our lawmakers in Washington are suicidal. Everything they do is leading to the death of the United States. I guess they think their own families, their children and their grandchildren and their progeny, won’t be negatively effected when the USA is dead and in place of the dead USA is a third world country.

    I can understand the lawmakers not having loyalty to me, for I am a stranger to them, they don’t know me. What I don’t understand is, I don’t understand them not having any loyalty to their own families, their own children, their own grand children, their own progeny.

    Or maybe the lawmakers do have loyalty to their families, maybe the lawmakers think they can turn the USA into a third world country and that won’t have a negative impact on any of their family and friends. If that’s what they think they’re stupid and blind. So they’re either stupid and blind or they don’t have any loyalty at all for their own families. Either way, their progeny are going to curse them in their graves — and that’s exactly what they deserve. For doing everything in the power — which is considerable — to destroy the USA. I don’t understand the desire to run the country into the ground.

    My comment refers to the NON-jews involved in running the country into the ground. I know the jew reasons for the jews wanting to destroy the USA. I don’t know what motivates the NON-jews involved in destroying the USA. I don’t get it.

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