Golden Girl, by Damian Wolfman [*POEM*]


“Golden girl on the train . . . “

Golden girl on the train
I hope you’ve forgiven me
now that you know
I had good reason
to do what I did.

I’d hate you to think
I lacked motivation.
I did it because
you were irresistible,
and asking for it.

I did it because
of the blind rage
whipped up in me by
the wind and the rain
and the lonesome rooms

and the golden girls
crossing their legs
on the benches of summer;
like you, sweetheart,
on that train long ago.

I want you to know
only one thing now,
you who sleep so soundly
underneath the turf
on Fogmoor where

the wind howls
over the wild heather
and bracken forlornly:
I tried my best
to walk in wisdom

and do no wrong,
but I failed.
Accept these lilies,
left on your grave
to mark my sorrow.


The Tree of Evil

The greatest gift
is the gift of forgiveness
for the unforgivable sin.

Receive then from me
this beneficence today—
the gift of my mercy.

I have taken from your shoulders
the burden of guilt.
Go on your way now.

See!—the cities of Satan
where the evil tree Zaqqum
offers its bitter fruit

to the lost. Spare a thought, friend,
for those who fester in chains
at the foot of the tree, gorging

the devilheaded fruits—
the fruits that feed
the appetite for more evil.




Love’s sacred sun is setting
And demonfall is here
And the time for forgetting
Your true love is near.

The time has come for aching
And losing what you had,
For leaving and forsaking
And for being sad.

The time is back for burning
Alone in beds of flame.
Hellvixen is returning!
— Hey Lady, what’s your game?

To my True Love

To my True Love

Listen to me now, Lethyn!—
I swear as the moon is new
I’ll give you one last chance
If you promise to be true.

I haven’t the least desire
To bind you to my breast
Or make you leap through fire
Or put you to the test.

You’re free to love or hate me—
To win life’s game or lose.
I’m waiting, dear, I’m waiting
To see which path you choose.


The Ways I Keep

You do not understand
the ways I keep:
the sleight of my hand—
how I wind, how I creep.

Do you think I need you
to believe in me?
It’s I who must seed you
first. From my seed, your tree.

How can you understand
me, how can you find
me, unless my hand
reaches into your mind

and lights a lantern there
and does some deep mining?—
Until then, despair!
and total lack of meaning.

Stand fast

Stand fast, stand fast
in the love I give you.
Be not entangled
in the stranger’s net.
See, I forgive you!
Let this love last
and let
the moon be strangled.

I have driven away sin
I have made
you clean
I have destroyed
your fetters. Be not afraid
to begin
again. Avoid
the kiss of the unclean.


Out of the Wound


Out of the Wound these songs well forth
Out of the night of yearning
Out of the tears of lust and wrath
Out of the endless burning.
Back to the Wound these songs will flow
Back to the heart that’s breaking
Back to the blood and tears they’ll go
Back to the endless aching.

Let it finish

Let it finish

Let it finish, foolish lover.
Let these weeping sores heal over.
No more lusts and no more rages
No more cruel chains or cages
No more hunting in love’s jungle
No more whirling through that mangle
No more swooning moons or sighing
In Lilith’s silken meshes lying.
Write these words down in red ink:
If you can’t swim the lake you’ll sink!
If you can’t keep your cool and try
To ride your demons you will die!
If you can’t get a life again
It’s helterskelter down the drain!
Sing a new song! or plummet down
Into the Devil’s well and drown!

Lethe (Baudelaire translation)


Lie on my breast, you lazy beast, and lounge
There like a lovely tigress. Settle there,
You cold, cruel monster, and let me plunge
My restless fingers in your fleece of hair!
Let me descend into the scented vale
Of your long skirts, and breathe the essence of
You there: from that spent flower, let me inhale
The bittersweet remains of my dead love.
I long to sleep—to sleep and not to be!
To sink into the dream of death, and there
Scatter my carefree kisses recklessly
On your bronze-tinted flesh so young and fair.
My weeping fits, my stifled sobs and sighs,
All cease and fall to nothing in the abyss
Of your bed. In your mouth, forgetfulness
Lies, and Lethe’s lulling waters in your kiss.
I yield to fate, and take a pleasure in it.
Henceforth my doom will be my sweet delight.
A willing martyr, I shall fan this minute
These flames of lust to add to my own plight.
And I shall suck—to soothe my soul’s unrest—
Nepenthe and hemlock, bitter-tanged and tart,
From the pert rosebuds of those pointed breasts
Behind which never beat a human heart.


Dead Lovers (Gerard de Nerval translation)



Dead lovers

Where are our lovers now?
In graveyards low they lie.
I guess they’re happy now
In lands of lullaby.
They’re with the angels now
Up in the sky so blue—
They sing the praises of
God’s holy Mother too.
O bride in shining white,
Young woman once in flower,
You lovers lost in night—
The doombell tolled your hour.
Immortal youth once shone
All flashing in your eyes.
Those flames from earth are gone—
Let them light up the skies.

Beautiful Corpse (Baudelaire translation)

Beautiful corpse

One midnight, appalling and drear,
You will lie under your headstone:
Your beautiful corpse, my dear,
In its house of gravel and bone!

When the chaste stars languish and droop
Their eyes at the coming of dawn,
There the spider will weave his web,
There the viper will breed her spawn.

There night after night you will hear,
Like the hounds of hell in your ear,
The wolf and his harrowing howl:

There the raddled harlot will lurk
And the dirty old man will jerk
And the plotter of crimes will prowl.


To the Precious and Beautiful (Baudelaire translation)

To the precious and beautiful
Whose loveliness illumines me,
To my Idol, to my Angel
All praise in immortality!
She impregnates the air around
Like the wild salt tang of the sea
And in my soul she trickles down
The attar of eternity.
Sachet forever fresh and strong
Scenting the air of a loved room,
Forgotten censer burning long
Through the night in the sacred gloom.
How can I ever truly tell
What undefiled you are to me,
My grain of musk invisible,
My essence of eternity!
To the precious and beautiful—
My life, my joy, my sanity,
To my Idol, to my Angel
All praise in immortality!

Je t’adore (Baudelaire translation)

I love you as I love the sky at night,
You brooding soul who never says a word.
Because you’re cold, denying me delight,
I love you all the more, my mockingbird!
You put a gulf between me and the blue
Heavens beyond. That’s why I reach for you!
I move in for the kill. I lust for your flesh,
As coffinworms over corpses swarm.
You gorgeous beast, I want you all the more
You crack your whip and treat me like a worm!

Wait for me, Moth

Wait for me, Moth

And why should I tell you the reason
You slipped and fell into the well?
You were sniffing the rim for poison,
You were hunting for heaven in hell.
I look out from the eyes of others
I lie hidden behind their smiles
And I roar in the wind’s wild weathers
Where the glum seas glug up their whales.
I come when you do not call me
At a time of my own choosing
When the fruit hangs ripe on the tree
And the juice from the fruit is oozing.
Wait for me, Moth, oh wait until I come—
And suck you back again into my flame!



Lucy in the sky

Lucy in the Sky

Satan, source of these longings, set me free
From orange sunshine, hell dust, ecstasy.
But no, don’t do that . . . give me more, my friend,
Paradise white and peace at rainbow’s end.

 And let me as I lunch with Aunt Despair,
Have time to blow a stick or cork the air;
And on the razor’s edge, pushed on by pain,
Score with the golden girl or do Elaine.

 O you who mock these words but never knew
Sweet Jesus or the Beast, I envy you—
And if, at wit’s end, you should ask me what
My message is, I’d answer THOU SHALT NOT.

Don’t ask me why I’m laughing sweet and low.
I’m Lucy in the sky with diamonds now.